REALITY BEHIND THE FANTASY OF PORN
Ah, pornography. Every single male’s (and not so single male’s) friend. When there’s not a real woman available, she has a “headache” or maybe you just don’t want to deal with each other, or you have 15 minutes to kill, porn is the great reliable old friend that won’t let you down. Why? Could it be that porn has unbelievably gorgeous women with perfect bodies who are willing to do anything and everything that your significant other (or lack of) won’t do at a beckon call, they’re always there and they don’t say no, and you don’t even have to buy them dinner beforehand? You bet. Secretly, or maybe not so secretly, every guy wishes he could be a porn star if just for one day. But if you knew what really went on behind the scenes, you’d probably thank your lucky stars that you can just have some regular sex without all the hassle. Don’t believe me? Here’s what you’re missing out on.
Have sex for a living? Sign me up!
Seriously, what better job could there to get paid to have sex (legally) with beautiful women all day? How amazing would that be? Well, before you go ripping off your clothes and running down to the San Fernando Valley, hold your, um, horses. What seems like it could be easy and just outright fun isn’t exactly what you think it is. Sure, watching it seems amazing, but spend some time on an actual porn set and you’ll see how hard making hardcore porn actually is. First, do you have a perfect body? Yeah, I didn’t think so. The men and women in the industry are held to ridiculously high standards when it comes to the shape they’re in. And they better be in shape, because once the cameras actually start rolling they’ll have to contort themselves into nearly impossible positions while making sure the cinematography isn’t lost. In other words, the camera needs to be able to see all the fucking. Ever notice how rarely performers just do the straight missionary position? It doesn’t look good on film – the guy whacking off at home wants to see anything and everything and that just doesn’t cut the mustard. So the next time you’re watching a chick get banged while she hangs over a kitchen countertop, reconsider just how easy that might be. Which leads to the next point…
Sex Marathons
Imagine fucking a beautiful woman for hours and hours on end. Sounds great, right? Well, try doing that outside of your own home, with twenty strangers looking on and having to satisfy them, not the woman you’re having sex with. It’s not uncommon on a bigger budget set for the sex to go on for a minimum of two hours or more. Both parties involved need to have some serious stamina and avoid chaffing. And talk about being able to deliver…
Good Wood
While some guys are lucky enough to be naturally gifted with the ability to easily get and maintain an erection in front of a film crew and camera, not everyone is so blessed. They can however turn to alternatives like Viagra and caverject injections (yes, you read that correctly, a large needle goes into your dick) to enhance their performance. Good thing this isn’t major league baseball or there be a high amount of asterisks for performance enhancing drug years to be included with porn titles. And then think about this – you have to actually “finish” on command. Be able to do so (with lots of “results” to show for your efforts) consistently and you’ll continue to get jobs in the business. If not, well, might as well look for another line of work.
Safe Sex? What’s that?
Wicked pictures is the only adult company production in the San Fernando Valley (where porn is king) which requires its performers to wear condoms in their sex scenes. Other companies deem it merely optional. And if you’re a female performer who won’t take no for an answer on this issue, you may find work more difficult to get than your fellow performers who don’t. What’s the reasoning behind this? Fantasy killer. At least that’s the thought – most male viewers don’t want to see condoms in porn movies anymore than they want to see a dental damn, think about STD’s or pregnancy. Just the sex, ma’am. So if protection becomes a necessity for you, consider becoming a security guard.
Blow jobs and hand jobs aren’t the only jobs to get
Like other professions in all facets of any entertainment industry, if you’re on the “talent” side (aka a performer) you move from job to job, freelancing as an independent contractor hoping to sign a longer term contract. This is perhaps why you’ve heard of certain companies having their “girls” for at least a limited amount of time signed to a contract. For the most part though, performers are at the mercy of either their sleazy talent agent or their own ingenuity to get them work – just to make a living. Contrary to the fantasy, many don’t live lavish lifestyles, it’s a much smaller percentage, just like the mainstream entertainment community an actors. For every Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, there are tons of actors just praying he or she will get a national commercial. No different in porn – for every Jenna Jameson there’s hundreds of hot women who will do scenes and then go back to their strip clubs just to pay the rent. Add to that the spread of piracy on the internet where you can get tons of porn for free and the economic downturn, and the competition for jobs is beyond fierce. While you’re watching that woman get stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey as she moans in ecstasy, what may be on her mind is her credit card bill rather than how amazing the sex would appear to be. Lastly, think about this: while in mainstream entertainment the roles for actors over the age of 40 may be diminished, there are still roles. Unless you go to the fetish side where you’re a “cougar” at as young as 30 in the porn industry, you might as well forget about longevity as a performer in porn.
Not exactly the next James Cameron production
It’s not just the people fucking in front of the camera that makes the movie; there are plenty of people behind it as well. Directors, writers (yes, there are writers in porn who write more than “ooh” and “ahh” and “dropping fuckin’ loads!”) cameramen, makeup and hair, production assistants – the list goes on and on. Without them the movies than you love would never get made. If it’s a high budget shoot it’s one thing, but on the lower budget side if a crew is doing some “guerilla” style filming (without a permit) it’s very possible that the good ole’ LAPD will show up and put a stop to the proceedings. And it’s not like the porn industry isn’t without their “divas” as well. Some performers don’t have the best reputation for small egos or being the easiest to work with.
The ever elusive orgasm
How many times have you heard a female performer interviewed and they say they’re in the business because they just love to have sex? Well if you believe that one I have a few bridges to sell you. Yes, some (female) porn stars do actually achieve orgasm on a regular basis in front of the camera. (If the guys didn’t we would know, wouldn’t we?) But many others talk about how having sex at home without the camera is where they have their real fun and are able to orgasm much easier because the pressure is off. So what are they doing in their scenes? Be prepared for a shock now, they’re faking it. Yes, they call them actresses for a reason. I’ve always wondered why “best fake orgasm” wasn’t an award category at the AVNs.
What’s love got to do with it?
Imagine meeting someone and an hour later not only are you having sex with them, but you’re being directed how to do it in front a large crew. How’s that for romance? Or how both you and your costar are married – to other people? Kind of puts a spin on that whole “commitment” thing. What if you’re actually married to each other but have to pretend that you’ve never met before after you’ve had sex hundreds of times? What if you think your costar is a total bitch/asshole? Maybe it might make for even better sex, but often times can cause nothing but problems.
So the next time thinking about dropping that boring desk job with the medical benefits and the 401K to head out to sunny southern California to become the next big porn star, you might want to reconsider for a moment.